Red Tail Hawk #1: Just keep circling. Maybe she won't notice.
Red Tail Hawk #2: Damn! She caught us! Imagine, having nothing better to do with your life than to stand in the middle of the street gaping up at us. Go get a job, lady!
Red Tail Hawk #1: Well... we are pretty damn fabulous, if I say so myself.
Red Tail Hawk #2: Yeah. Still, though. What a loser. Think we can take that dog of hers? I'm hungry.
RTH #1: I dunno. He's gotten kinda heavy - and she's kinda lookin' like a porker, too. Look at those thighs. Fatty. Come to think of it, she hasn't been waking us up much at her usual 5:30 any more, has she?
RTH #2: Hm... you're right. But it was a pretty cold winter. And they got that new bed. Some kind a foam thing. She just keeps hitting snooze, and saying, 'This is the BEST!' Bothers the crap out of her husband, who would rather not be woken up every 9 minutes for an hour.
RTH #1: I don't know what you're talkin' about. You need to stop looking in her windows, you weirdo. Whoa! She is STILL there! Looking at us! What is up with that!? She's the last one left - if it wasn't for her, we'd have this whole neighborhood back to ourselves, now that all the smart moms have gone back to work.
#2: Actually, I heard she got a little something.
#1: What?!
#2: Yeah! I was thisclose to getting that squirrel that's been buggin' us... You know the one? Well... it was sitting on her front porch, with one of her tulip bulbs, which would totally piss her off if she knew, but she didn't know, and the squirrel was all happy as a clam, crunchin' away, la-dee-dah, didn't notice me - right there - but then that little jerk of the lady's started banging on the piano and scared the poop out of the squirrel, so it took off just as I was about to snag it, and I missed, darn it!
Anyway....
I heard her say, "Who's going to make you play piano if I go back to work?"
#1: Uh.... Yeeaahhh....? How exactly does that mean she has a job?
#2: Well, would you let me finish my darn story?! Always interrupting, you are.
#1: OK. Fine. Go ahead.
#2: No. You can't make me. I'm not gonna tell any more, so there.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Soaring! Flying!
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25 comments:
Nooooo! #2 you have to tell, you have to tell!! Do I have to get my shotgun out? Don't make me do it!!
LOL! Thank you! What a wonderful start to an otherwise dreadful month (I am going back to work in less than two weeks, sigh.)
I don't know why, but now I'm thinking of you wearing a falconer's glove.
Who IS going to make him practice piano?
So... you got a little something?! It's not nice to tease...!
Is this the something I know something about?
Because...well...who's going to join me eating lunch at 10:00AM if you go back full-time?
you can't do it.
you will make all us other moms feel guilty.
seriously!!!!!!!
I'm with Leslie...just think of the guilt you will pour onto us! Stay home...stay home!
Is this something else? Or the Monday thing? C'mon!!!!! I tell you all my things!
Nooooooo! I wanna know too!
And BTW a friend of mine saw a wedge tailed eagle take a really annoying terrier - but it dropped a couple of paddocks away so either it was a bit heavy, or not very apetising!
what a crazy, funny clever post. Good job!
So. Did you get a little something something?
Funny! I have a friend who had a dog snagged by a hawk. But who leaves a 3 pound dog in the backyard all day? She may as well have sent the hawks an invitation.
Are you thinking of going back to work? I get a lot of resumes from teachers who stopped teaching to stay home then realize they want to leave their children with someone else because it isn't easy to be home...
I've noticed a lot fewer rabbits in the neighborhood since the hawks moved in....Thank goodness my cats are fatties.
Good luck with the little something!
Wow--way to lead us on!! So excited to hear you got a job. :)
Question: will your job conflict with your blogging duties? Because I could seriously have withdrawals. :) Congrats though. Hope it works out for you. Can't wait to hear more about it.
Wow. Going stir crazy are you?
Wait a minute! All the cool MA moms are staying at home. And who starts a job just before the summer??
Oh, and we've got a hawk eyeing my dog, too.
You're being watched like a hawk...by a hawk...whatever.
You got a JOB? Spill the info!
Damn birds!
Those Red Tail Hawks have FAR too much spare time, and should either get a job or catch the bloody squirrels! :D
I hope this new job isn't going to cut into your blogging time! Say it isn't so!
so you really are leaving us hanging for an entire week not telling us about this job, eh?
we had a HUGE red-tailed hawk that stalked one of our dogs when we were living in weymouth the past 8 years...we moved to michigan this past fall and they followed him here!!!
See, now if I were to have written this post, which wouldn't have happened because it is waaaaay too creative for me, anyway, it wouldn't have been two majestic red-tailed hawks, it would have been 2 of the 46 carpenter ants currently marching around my kitchen.
Love this!
This is great blog
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