Monday, March 30, 2009

As the mom (re)turns

Welcome to this weeks episode of "As The Mom Returns." Last week, we saw Mad Mad Mom take off for NYC with her 12-year-old daughter, in an attempt to throw money at a three-week-long spring break problem in hopes it would just go away. 

It did, mostly, but many an unanswered question remains:

Will Mad Mad return at 7 p.m. Sunday to a clean home?

Hell, dinner, even?

OK, she'll settle for just some groceries to kick off the week.

Will Man notice the basket of clean laundry Mad Mad left by the foot of the bed in hopes he would notice the hint and deal with it in a satisfactory manner?

Will Man actually take out the trash and recycling, as opposed to just stacking it all by the back door in the expectation that "someone" will deal with it eventually?

Will Man be able to satisfactorily explain why there are four days worth of newspapers strewn over the kitchen table, or why her Star Hydrangea is suddenly dying despite EXPLICIT instructions it needed to be watered?

Will Man remember the coffee POT needs to be in place before one turns on the coffee maker and leaves the room?

Will Man have even begun to tackle the mound of school paperwork Boy brought home at the weekend? Written the school lunch check for the upcoming month? Filed away the relevant notices of upcoming events?

Will Mad Mad accept "We had lacrosse" as a suitable excuse for ignoring all of the above AND only walking Dog ONCE in the entire four days?

Without further ado, we present this weeks episode:

No.

Be sure to tune in next week to find out the answer to just how Mad Mad deals with the news that, in her absence, Man has volunteered her to host his entire family for Easter. 


Will he live? Or will there be a freak accident involving a former Star Hydrangea pot?

Duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn!


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The folks over at humor-blogs are too smart to leave their husbands at home and expect much. Or anything at all, really.

30 comments:

Bells said...

No welcome home nookie for him then!!!

Rose Red said...

OMG I had these exact same thoughts today as I baked biscuits and made dinners (to freeze) for husby while I am going to be away for 5 days at the end of this week.

So yeah, what Bells said, no welcome home lovin' for Man then last night, right??!!

mo.stoneskin said...

My bets are on the freak accident. But will the Mad Mad Mom somehow find a way to deal with Man?

Da dar downnnggggg!

hokgardner said...

This makes me a little nervous in advance of my trip this weekend. I'm afraid of what I'll come home to.

And the grammar geek in me can't help this - it should be "week's" not "weeks."

Kathy B! said...

Man has been banished to the basement with a honey-do list that will last until well after Easter has passed.

Man is in trouble!

Cathy said...

The image of the coffee brewing without the pot in place just cracked me up! Love how he snuck in the family hosting gig in while you were convieniently out of town. :)

WA said...

I can hear the violins screeching as I read this.

Manic Mommy said...

Man made his bed (figuratively only, of course) so he'll have to lie in it.

Jane said...

I'm guessing that Man will be in the doghouse for the rest of the week with Dog. I'm betting Dog will enjoy the company.

Five Ferns Fibreholic said...

Sounds like my life only I don't go away....just two day shifts in a row over the weekend.

amy said...

I could deal with all of that EXCEPT the Easter bit. That's the killer for me. I might be scheduling another getaway for that very weekend, if I were you.

Barb said...

What amy said.

I'm sort of afraid that you and I are married to the same man. Lord knows we've never seen them together at the same time. The only this is that our dog gets walked very regularly by my spouse --that's the price my husband pays for having brought that incorrigibly stupid dog home in the first place.

MamaHen Em said...

Oh no! I'm not sure I can wait for the next episode. . .

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

This happened to me once a long time ago. I threw a fit of epic proportions (I do mean epic) and I can now go away and come home to a spotless house. It was so worth it.

lucky knitter said...

I think he will live, but only after wishing he were dead! =)

IslandMom said...
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IslandMom said...
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IslandMom said...

I see, as the family's laundry is washed, folded, and put away, Man's shirts, socks, and underwear lie dirty in a pile that grows deeper and deeper day by day by day....

kim said...

What? WHAT?! Does he not remember last Easter? The vegetarians? Is he inSANE?!!!!!!!

The Mother said...

Or will she find, as I suspect, that entropy has taken over the house. That every dish has been removed from the cabinets and placed haphazardly across the kitchen and den. That every towel is on the floor. And that the dog is starving.

Ree said...

Methinks Man will find an Easter ham stuck someplace in/on his body.

Beth said...

Egads! You had high hopes. We are still working on putting the lid down on the toilet. Taking the garbage out will likely never happen. See. The therapy is working.

the mama bird diaries said...

Hilarious.

I hate returning to a messy house.

The next time you come to nyc, we need to plan a meet-up.

Camille said...

Yeah. This would be a situation I haven't had the cahones to face yet, therefore I have yet to leave hubs and toddler home alone for more than 18 hours. The thought of what I would come home to is frightening! Why does it feel like Man may have been playing the song "Men men men men, men men men men..." the whole time you were in NYC? LOL. Good luck!

~Shani

Shelley said...

Is it just me, or are the school vacations getting closer and closer together? I think it's an insidious plot to drive all mothers insane.

And come on now...you didn't really think he was going to look at a basket of clean laundry and think, "Hmmm, that laundry is clean. I should put it away in everyone's drawers, where it belongs." No man in the history of the world has ever thought that.

Peggy said...

Oh My Gah!

Why haven't you posted today? You burying a body over there?

???????????????????????????????????

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

You totally crack me up. So where did your husband sleep that night?

a friend to knit with said...

haaha. what bells said!!

TLCknits said...

Bells nailed it..My first thought was you being the Sex Nazi.. and telling him 'NO @#$ for YOU!'...

Anonymous said...

Oh MadMad, I love you! You make me laugh!